May love list

anniversaries, a zine fest, & raw honesty

Hi, friends. How was May for you? For me it was a flurry of helping my kids wrap up the school year, working my job in the early summer, rose-laced heat, and some exciting, unexpected opportunities. If I’m honest, it was also a month of wanting to crawl into a hole and hibernate again, teeth-clenching, heart-pounding anxiety, and ND fatigue-borderline-burnout. But, first things first.

May 11th in the Vale

And by first, I mean let’s have some flowers:

very bright & fragrant

I didn’t get a picture of this, but new friend and Soddy Daisy Community Library founder Kelly invited me and Maeve along to their event at Barnes & Noble. What. I sold a few copies of my book, and the store bought a few more copies to keep on their shelves because SDCL put The Secret Heart of Maeve MacGowan on their high school summer reading list (and because Kelly used his powers for good). WHAT. This was the ‘fire’ I talked about in my last monthly newsletter, brought to me by, of course, a librarian with community connections. Librarians are amazing.

red clover/mountain laurel/ghostly Queen Anne's Lace

I attended my 2nd Chattanooga Zine Fest the following week, at the Chattanooga library, of course.

Ridiculously, justifiably proud of my zines

It was a wonderful experience, connecting with other weird, creative, deep-feeling souls. A lot of zine trading and unabashed admiration happened. I made a whopping $38 in sales, mostly because one kind soul told me I was undervaluing my work and Venmo’d me extra. One zine maker said, “and you’re an author, too?” and shook his head. “You’re doing a great job.”

I can’t put it into words, how much the reciprocity of these people means to me. To us on a community level. It’s life-giving in a way few other things are.

the Vale at twilight

Then there were days where I would be in tears from exhaustion by 9pm (or was it 7?), frozen on the couch, surrounded by piles of laundry that may still try to eat my house one night. (Yep, they’re still here at the end of the month.)

I’m glad I took the opportunities I did and I’m so, so grateful for the connections I made. And I’m still an AuDHD person with a sensitive nervous system who experienced the anniversary of multiple stressful events this month, which caused sleep disruption, racing thoughts & pulse, and chest pain. Managing anxiety can sometimes feel like a full-time job. Hence all the nature noticing. And there are all the activities that come with wrapping up the school year for my kids.

Transitional times always leave me tender. Collectively we’re carrying a lot.

There are also joyful 18th anniversaries, baby blackberries, and deer visitors

I have planned very little for next month in terms of social media (pretty much just Substack) and writing, so that in between parenting my kids I can recover a little bit. At home we will read, make some attempt at housework, watch movies, probably have ‘too much’ screen time, get outside when we can. Go to the library and get ice cream. Just try to take care of our post-school year nervous systems. Not put unrealistic expectations on myself or us. Retreat without isolating.

I will probably frolic off my own path of publishing strictly on Thursdays or Fridays. Exploring folklore and fairy tales here is also life-giving, and that’s why I love writing The Purple Vale. But I like to be honest now and then about being human. Specifically, a neurodiverse one. If I haven’t bored or scared you off, if you’re here because you’re a human who tries to move through the world with compassion and curiosity, I’m glad you’re here.

I haven’t even talked about this month’s wonderful family visit (so good!!) or any books I’ve read. And here is where the frolicking begins. I will save the books for another time.

keywords for the Chariot: direction, control, willpower (according to Labyrinthos)

I drew the Chariot for May, and I’m driving myself where I want to go. We’re going to be off-roading (less social media) and enjoying the view. Lots of things are outside of my control, but what’s mine, I will be mindful of. I think it’s pretty cool how the driver carries April’s wand.

a Blessing

May you understand your own power for shaping this season, may you find peace in your decisions, and may connection find you even if visibility feels scarce.

A reminder that A Land of Light and Shadow is on sale for 99 cents for just a couple more days! If I don’t finish the short story sequel this week, I will share it in June.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Meet you over the orchard wall.*

*One of my wonderful early readers for my book started signing her emails like this. I like it.

Thanks for being here. My AuDHD brain is a bit scattered and prone to change things last minute, but here in The Purple Vale you can count on reflections on folklore, fairy tales, and the seasons from my little corner of East Tennessee–which is unceded Cherokee and Muscogee land.