Maiden, Mother, Crone pt 2
Folklore Friday: She needn't be a mother
Hi friends, thanks for joining me for this second Folklore Friday. We’re exploring together with a beginner’s curiosity, so this is more of a personal essay dotted with folklore gems than a scholarly article. If you haven’t read the first part in this series, you can read it here.
The word mother carries many different connotations and weights for different people. I want to acknowledge that not everyone wants to be a mother or parent. If that’s you, your choices are valid. To those who want to be mothers but can’t for whatever reason, your pain is held tenderly. If you decide to read on, I hope you find something of value in this post.
To me, the Mother figure is expansive and goes beyond reproductive abilities, and I wanted to touch on some of the complexities inherent in this role and in the ways I often interact with this archetype. You may identify with many of them yourself, and if you do, you probably have other ways of doing so. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Mother spins life,
nurtures many
things: earth,
animal, child. She holds
expansive secrets, fertile
Depths.
~from my zine Maiden, Mother, Crone: poems and micro fiction
The phrase Maiden, Mother, Crone, is closely related to Wicca. I do not follow or identify with this closed belief system, though I do use certain terms associated with it. (The wheel of the year, for example, is compiled by Wiccans, and I refer to it for the Celtic/pagan sabbats. I also like the terms Quarter and Cross-quarter holidays.)
While this MMC triunity originally pointed to ancient triple goddesses, at least from an archeological and folklore standpoint that I’m aware of, I started this series for the folklore and personal ties. As such, my interpretations are my own and may not align with other schools of thought or personal beliefs that acknowledge the MMC.
As a mother to four children, the Mother archetype makes a lot of sense for me personally.
Motherhood is a role I delight in and struggle with. It feels complicated because motherhood is complicated. Those of us who are mothers still deal with the weight of social expectations that tell us motherhood defines us and reduces us to the sum of our unpaid labor. And just as I carry the maiden within me, I will be a mother for the rest of my life, even as my role in my children’s lives changes again and again.
We recognize the need to identify ourselves beyond our ability to reproduce. None of us humans are one thing. That’s why discussing the Mother in this way feels tricky to me: with the Maiden, that stage is both in my past and something I carry with me. With the Mother, I’m in the middle of it right now, of homework and doctors appointments, of giggles and tickles and bedtime stories, of sibling fights and tearful late night conversations.
The Empress is one of my favorite tarot cards. I love seeing her bare feet rooted to the earth, the flowing water nearby, her confidence and serenity. I feel a connection to the Empress for these things. For me, she is a very mother-like figure, although there is more to her than that. I see in her a reminder to ease away from scarcity mindset and to be gentle with myself when I’m stuck there. She’s a very earthy, sensual figure. She reminds me of nature’s importance and how vital it is to connect with the natural world right where I am.
The Maiden, Mother, Crone figure features another aspect closely related to folklore and fairy tales that I love: the rule of three. If you’ve ever heard of The Three Little Pigs or read about a fairy tale character going on a quest to retrieve three items, then you’ve encountered the rule of three. There’s a symmetry to the number I find pleasing. It’s something writers use. For example, through the three act structure or in writing a trilogy, which is a very popular series length and a larger echo of the three act structure itself. And of course, I wrote Beauty as the middle of three sisters.
These parallels may be far-fetched, but I’m always looking for patterns. Among the complexities of my life as a writer, mother, and many other things, I find solace in the archetype and patterns of the Mother. As I see it, she is echoed through all of human life. She reminds me of the subversive, multifaceted value of motherhood and how much more there is to the role beyond what the dominant narrative tells us. And she reminds me to let myself be held and mothered by the abundance around me.
Friends, I hope you enjoyed this second folklore Friday. For those of you that have already shared this newsletter, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Can I ask a favor? I am trying to reach 500 subscribers by the end of the year. Right now, I’m at about 350.
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